My sexual experiences by Robert Burton began after a dinner of the Academy. Avevo19 years and I have been to Renaissance for about a month. I had been to a dinner, but this time things went differently than I expected. After dinner, Robert asked me to stop for a minute. When all were gone she invited me in his office. " He sat on the couch and invited me to sit beside him. After some talk, I suddenly pulled down the zipper and began to give me a work of mouth. I was dazed, confused and paralyzed about what was going on. I do not expect it at all, and there was no time to say no. When I came I said I had to go to the bathroom (which was true). In the bathroom near his office I was alone for a moment, and I had time to recover from the shock and make the local mind. I really did not know what to think. It was something that was not for me, I never did. But I felt that I could not refuse that person, who was my teacher, and the fact that Robert said that this was for my own good gave him more weight. A few minutes later I came back, feeling the shame of star having sex with a man. When I returned he took me in his bed, where he continued to make me the subject of oral sex. Physically it was somewhat challenging, but emotionally it was repulsive. Robert noticed it because I had trouble maintaining an erection. He said he could "come between her legs if I wanted" but the idea sounds completely disgusting to me and said nothing. I wanted to finish it as soon as possible but still felt that I could not say no to Robert. In order to handle it yourself away star having sex with women. Once, while lying on his bed, the lights became intermittent. Robert said it was the influence of C, C, and the influence he wanted us to be intimate. Finally, Robert took me out the front door. I was so happy not having to go through the kitchen and not see other people. Ashamed, disappearing into the night. Although it may seem strange, none of this had undermined my confidence in Robert. Only I did not know how to handle the situation and my feelings. About a week later we were working in the vineyard of the Jeep when Robert came to our row and stopped. It was the time of harvest, the weather was hot and heavy work. At that time we had taken a break. Rosemary Rexford came up to me jokingly, "You have much pleasure to anyone, because you're going to get a swim." We went swimming in a river not far from the Renaissance. There were a dozen young men of my age and some older men who usually accompany him wherever he goes Robert (as his secretary and the two men who live at the Academy). All swam naked, which seemed strange given the narrow use of costume in the Fellowship of Friends. Only later I realized that Robert had brought his harem to swim. Some next day I was to lodge. It was a bit 'late and many had gone home. I was called on the phone because they wanted to talk to Robert. Robert asked me to go to him. I said that I would have liked to be near him, but I did not want to have sex with him yet. Apparently we were in agreement and I said that I would not go. Shortly after I was invited to a dinner, a small dinner in the cellar of the Academy. There were two small tables. I sat at a table with Robert. The secretary Robert sat down to another table with another man. I could not see them because I was sitting in the back. Robert was clearly "not amused" to our telephone conversation. Seeing that he was trying to hide his irritation, I said, "It 's a thrill negative 'conscious'? "He replied" Yes .... "With all my innocence I believed him. Afterwards, I thanked Robert for the nice dinner. I insisted that I did not want to have sex with him and went home. From that moment on, many things changed for me. When it became clear to Robert that I would never had sex with him, many doors were closed. No more attention or kind words from Robert. No more dinners. No more gifts. No more teaching. Not more than unconditional love . Even when he stopped his car completely ignored me (side note: his friends from inside the car gave me a look full of female domination that made my confusion even bigger). I I felt very alone at that time and not (dare) talk to anyone. He called me a few weeks later asking if I had taken into consideration the idea of \u200b\u200bhaving sex with him, but I had already firmly established the connection that I'd never done anything like that. I continued to live at Renaissance until the end of my visa for one year. After returning to my country, I was in the Fellowship of Friends for three years. At the end of my membership in the Fellowship of friends stayed for all sincere people in the center, I was very helpful in many ways. However, there came a time when I saw those students become increasingly identified with the form, and I could not bear to support Robert with my stay in the Fellowship. At one point I tried to talk to our director of the center on my experience with Robert. She said: "Sometimes you have to turn the weaknesses of the teacher." It took me a long time to develop this thing. It was not a relationship of equals. Robert had indeed abused his authority and in my naivety to force me to have sex with him. If you had asked me immediately, saying that was for his personal pleasure and that there was no obligation to have sex with him, I certainly would have said no. Instead he jumped on me when all of my personality defenses were down. He used my innocence, saying that having sex with him was for my own good and the consent of influenza C. He used whatever was in its power to bring in his bed: dining, gifts, attention. And when that did not work took all these things to force me to do sex with him again. And most of all, I did something which I felt and I feel disgusted. I'm sure Robert has no conscience, and that can not be conscious. Sbagliai believing that "the lower can not see the higher." But in fact it should say "The lower can not see anything - neither above nor below. I think he is another kind of very special person. Ouspensky writes this: "A hobo is hasnammuss and moody at the same time. [...] never hesitates to sacrifice people or to cause an enormous amount of suffering only to pursue his personal ambitions. " Translated by More History Needed? No 584 of September 27, 2007 ( http://fellowshipoffriends.wordpress .com/2007/09/17/the-fellowship-of-friends-discussion-part-21 / # comment-8274 ).
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